The Big O!

Sure, you may have come close, but how many of you can honestly say you’ve experienced the climactic exhilaration of THE BIG O? I’m talking about the anticipation of 20 years building up to this one event...the moment you actually get to be in the studio audience of the Oprah Winfrey show and you see her in the flesh! AHAAAAA! Well, I did experience THE BIG O. It was the summer of 2003. Oprah was healthy, happy, and out to get America reading again.

Let me start from the beginning. We arrived early in the morning to wait in line outside Harpo Studios. The anticipation was palpable. After a short wait, the doors opened and we filed through the security check. Next, we were let into a waiting room where the walls were adorned with large framed photographs of the famous Miss Winfrey and many of her celebrity guests. As I looked around the room, I felt the greatness of Oprah’s presence. Is there anywhere she can’t go? Is there anyone she can’t meet? Is there anything she can’t do? I wondered what it would be like to live that life.

It was time to head into the studio. The show would feature the re-launching of Oprah’s Book Club, and Stacy London, from What Not To Wear, giving makeovers and fashion tips. I had a great seat, just behind the people who were guests on the show for the makeover segment! A producer came out to warm up the audience. This day would be broadcast live, so there had to be over-the-top enthusiasm, and it was our job to provide it. We learned that each chair had a book under it, wrapped in brown paper. The producer asked us each to find our book and practice a look of excitement and surprise. We were warned NOT to open the paper to reveal the book title until Oprah gave us the cue to do so. Once our producer was satisfied with our cheerful exuberance, she left the room, and moments later, Oprah Winfrey...THE OPRAH WINFREY entered the studio as it filled with boisterous applause and cheers. I’m not usually one to get star struck, after all, we’re all human, we all poop, don’t we? Pooping is the great equalizer. But the experience of seeing Oprah in the flesh totally got to me. I even felt tears well up in my eyes. It left me wondering, “Does Oprah poop?” Maybe she's got an assistant who does that for her.

Gratitude

The show began. It was time for us to “discover” the surprise hidden under our seats. My enthusiastic look of joy and surprise was so Oscar-worthy that I actually made it on camera during that moment! The book was revealed. It was the classic, “East of Eden” by John Steinbeck. Oprah showed her generosity again, calling on her team to hand out Oprah tote bags, sun hats, and T-shirts, all promoting the re-launch of her beloved book club. I was elated! Later, I heard people in the audience complaining that they didn’t like the T-shirt design, and lamenting the fact that they hadn’t been lucky enough to be at the “Oprah’s Favorite Things” show. I hadn’t expected any take-home gifts, so I was thrilled to have genuine Oprah merchandise to show for my experience at the show. It’s called “Gratitude”. I would have thought Oprah’s fans would understand the concept.

During the first commercial break, a young lady in the audience told Oprah that her sister was supposed to be there that day, but she was too sick to make it. She wondered if she could get an extra copy of the book to bring home to her. Oprah graciously said, “She can have mine!” Then Oprah whipped out a pen and asked the lady what her sister’s name was so she could write a short note inside. Can you imagine having a personal note written to you inside a book given to you by the great Oprah?

Even the Skinny Girls Get Cellulite

The show continued with some annoyed producers yelling at Stacy London to get to her seat. Stacy scrambled onto the stage and into her seat only milliseconds before the commercial break ended. Whew, that was a close call. Out came the models, wearing the latest swimwear styles. Oprah commented that the tall, thin model wearing an ass-bearing boy-short bikini pranced like Seabiscuit! Then, she did the thing only Oprah could get away with. She actually made the model turn around and stand there so we could all get a good look at her backside! Yep, this skinny, 90-pound waif had cellulite on her butt. Oprah didn’t go so far as to point it out, but I could see that we shared the same thought...even supermodels have cellulite! I had a feeling of renewed self-confidence. Thanks Oprah!

Stacy then went on to bring out the fashionably challenged people who had received makeovers. Their looks were all improved, but there was nothing earth shattering to be learned. Men: don’t wear black socks and sandals with your Bermuda shorts! Women: cover your figure flaws with a flattering sundress. Enough said.

Oh, Martha!

During the final commercial break, Oprah chatted with the audience like we were a bunch of friends sitting in her living room. She told us about a time she visited Martha Stewart’s home. Oprah didn’t eat a thing beforehand because she was sure Martha would have something fabulous to snack on. She even encouraged her producer to do the same. So, they arrived at Martha’s place hungry, anticipating the wonderful treats they were in for. Martha showed them around the property, walking them past the chicken coop, introducing them to her pets, and finally inviting them inside. Oprah was shocked when Martha didn’t offer any refreshments. She explained, “Whenever I go to someone’s house and they offer me something to eat or drink, I always say sure, I’ll have some! It doesn’t even matter what it is, I never turn it down.” Oprah was sure that Martha must have some irresistible homemade confection on hand; it’s what she’s known for. So, Oprah hinted, “We didn’t get a chance to have lunch before we came to visit, can you recommend a place nearby where we might get a bite to eat?”

Martha’s response was, “Yes, there’s a diner just down the road.”

“A diner down the road? A diner down the road!” she thought. Oprah couldn’t believe what had just happened. She had left Martha Stewart’s house without even a morsel of homemade goodness, not even a snack!

As I left Harpo Studios that memorable day, I reflected upon the experience. THE BIG O had exceeded my expectations in every way! The takeaway from this experience was three-fold:

1. Show your gratitude. Anything less is unbecoming.
2. Don’t let a little cellulite stop you from strutting like Seabiscuit.
3. Never allow a guest to leave hungry.